In Case I Go Missing
On the podcast, Crime Junkie, they talk frequently about the importance of creating an “If I Go Missing File”. A few years ago, I created one and I just read through it just to see how hilarious it would be. It must be so outdated!
Alas, the joke is on me because I forgot that I haven’t left the house in over a year, so now I do LESS things and know LESS people. I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not. Has anyone done any research on whether the pandemic put any serial killers out of work? Is that the silver lining we were all looking for?
Here is my before and after:
“Typical Work Day”
Before: My old commute involved driving my car to Wellington Station, taking the train to North Station, taking the shuttle from North Station to work, and sometimes stopping for an iced coffee. So many opportunities to be abducted!
Now: My new commute involves waking up, pouring myself a cup of coffee, drinking it on my couch, watching hours of the news, putting the cup in the sink, sometimes working out in my living room, showering, and then going to my computer in my front room.
“Typical Daily Activities”
Before: Just try to pin me down! I’d be in the Seaport for work, the North End for shows or classes, traveling throughout New England for breweries, and all over the metro Boston area for drinks or dinners with friends. I’d attend workout classes IN STUDIO. I don’t want to brag, but sometimes I’d just drive to the mall furthest away from me just to SPICE LIFE UP AND REALLY PUT MYSELF IN DANGER.
Now: Sometimes I take a LEFT instead of a RIGHT when I walk my dog down the street.
“Frequently Visited Locations”
Before: Wellington Station, my place of work, Flour Bakery, North Station, Improv Asylum, Highland Kitchen, Gaslight, Short Path, Lord Hobo, Night Shift, Target, Wegman’s, the other Target, Burlington Mall, North Shore mall, etc.
Now: Target.
“Recent Photos”
Before:
Now:
“Frequent Contacts/Possible Suspects”
Before: The guy who worked at the T that would sometimes follow me through the turnstile to tell me that I looked good that day, or ask me where I got my shoes.
The colleague who fought with me for the “good desk” every day. (The one closest to the wall, with nobody behind it to see when you’re online shopping.)
The people whose conference room I wouldn’t give up because my meeting unexpectedly ran late.
The person who stole my favorite mat space at the yoga studio.
The guy who I cut off to get in the right lane because I forgot the left lane was a turn-only lane.
The friend I haven’t seen since college that asked me to meet up for dinner in the city so we can compare our lives.
The ex-boyfriend who wants to day drink on a Thursday.
Now: My mom.
Seriously. If anything happens to me, it was my mom.