Like You Love Yourself
On brand.
I wrote recently about how I’m trying to show up for myself just ‘cause. I still am. I’m drinking less, I’m eating vegetables, I’m drinking 120 oz of water every day, I’m washing my face, I’m sleeping well, I’m moving my body, and I’m setting boundaries. It’s not perfect, but it’s improving.
That being said, I had a really fun night last night. I co-directed a Galentine’s Day show at my theater with one of my forever friends, Kelly. It was a 14-women cast, a SOLD OUT SHOW, and it was hilarious. It left me feeling super inspired and eager to write, perform, and create again. BUT, needless to say, I’m dragging today. I over-indulged in big talk and wine.
My first thought was, “You really did it, Patty! Way to fuck up your life and it’s only Tuesday. You slept in until 7AM?! YOU INCOMPETENT, MESSY LOSER!!!”
The thought caught me at a good time though because I’ve been working through this in therapy ; ). Thought → Behavior → Consequences. I had two options: I could think that, believe it, and spend the entire day making self-destructive decisions (binge eating, lying on the couch, avoiding work and responsibilities, doom scrolling) and hating myself. Or, I could think it, say NOPE, NOT TODAY, and drink a ton of water and some coffee and go on with my life.
I chose option two, of course. Today, at least. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I decided to treat myself like I loved myself. (A lesson I learned from my yoga guru, Yoga with Adriene.)
I got out of bed, I fed my cat, I added some lemon to my water, and I poured some coffee in my favorite SANTA MUG. Then I took a shower, did my skincare routine, brushed my teeth, took my meds, and put on my happiest pink sweatshirt. Now I’m sitting here, writing, and I feel much better. It’s funny how different our days/lives can be when we just CHOOSE to treat ourselves with the same love and care that we treat other people.
What would you do if you treated yourself like you loved yourself?
I’d pre-set my coffee to brew right before I woke up so I awoke to fresh coffee every morning.
I’d schedule focus hours and blocks for no meetings on my calendar when I need a respite.
I’d moisturize. I don’t do that nearly enough.
I’d eat pizza because it’s delicious, and stop eating when I was full.
I’d take myself to the doctor when something was wrong. (Working on this…)
I’d tell myself that my worth isn’t defined by the number on the scale, or things I haven’t achieved, or mistakes I have made. My God, I do not judge or dislike anyone for those things so why should I judge myself for it?
I’d remind myself that it’s not personal. I don’t know what “IT” is, but it has nothing to do with me.
I’d watch the same fucking show over and over (Stranger Things or 30 Rock probably) because I like it and it comforts me, and who cares if I watch it too much and should move on? I have ADHD, and I should lean into it.
I’d let myself know that there are more people in the world that support me than those who do not.
I’d say no. Full stop.
I’d play Dim All The Lights and dance with my animals.
I’d celebrate my strengths frequently.
I’d check in with myself and say, “Hey? How are you? No, but really, how are you?”
I’d tell myself that I was smart, and strong, and funny and that I have strong legs and cute, brittle ankles.
I’d do nothing, I’d take a nap, and I’d say, YOU DESERVE IT!!!
Actually, that’s what I’m going to do right now. To quote Queen RuPaul I, IF YOU CAN’T LOVE YOURSELF, HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA LOVE ANYBODY ELSE?