The Beauty of Random Amazon Hauls
While removing my dog’s harness the other day after the dog park, I realized that her collar was missing. Things must have gotten a little rough with Toby (a good friend of hers.) I didn’t mind about the collar so much, because it was a Christmas collar and it’s February. I did, however, panic about the fact that her collar has my phone number and address on it.
I don’t know what would be worse, a murderer finding it and showing up at my apartment - or them calling me. I hate phone calls, ESPECIALLY out of the blue.
I also started to panic that Billie would somehow get lost and run away and that’d be the day she didn’t have a collar on. She has a chip, so I didn’t need to panic, but I have generalized anxiety so get off my back.
Anyways, I went straight to Amazon and ordered a new one for FAST delivery to calm my nerves. I couldn’t just order ONE thing though. It felt so wasteful. Naturally, I added to my cart a menstrual cup (yup) and a laser level for hanging art at my new apartment.
I shared my random haul with some friends, and received their random Amazon purchases of the week:
“Compression socks for nurses, a travel iron (not traveling, just wanted something small) and fake candles with a remote to turn them on. Thank you. Have a good day.” - Kathy, 36/F/MA, a nurse that’s not traveling
“Scalp scrubber, two chapsticks from this French pharmacy brand, a bra, oyster shucking knives and gloves, furry slippers and a candle. The bra better be as comfy as this blogger claimed it to because it doesn’t look comfy to me.” Kelly, 31/F/CA, a currently braless recruiter
“Piano keyboard stickers, baby thermometer, Cantu Care for Kids curling cream.” Ashley, 35/F/MA, a North Shore mom.
“Plastic eggs for ModPodge, Raisin Bran, Hippeas, Butternut Squash, P.F. Changs Green Beans, Peanut Butter crackers, Gorilla Pads, and a 4-pack of Baby Safety doorknobs.” Janine, 34/F/MA, had a baby for the arts & crafts
“Nespresso pods, dog food, Tylenol, sweat pants, camera cleaning kit, essential oils, eye makeup remover, eyeliner, wine saver vacuum stoppers.” - Jessica, 32/F/TX, a photographer who apparently saves wine and doesn’t drink the whole bottle??
“CROC SLIDES.” - Kaleigh, 22/F/MA, a VERY COMFORTABLE ax-throwing coach
“Disposable masks, 8 Pack Gallery wall, Wire Cage wall sconce, and a You Can’t Fix Stupid Small Sign.” - Molly, 22/F/MA, a social media queen with a shared family Prime account
“Beard kit for men.” Kelly, 33/F/MA, not a man but is a beard
So, are you like us? What are your recent, random Amazon purchases?
Also, my dog found her collar at the park the next day! She brought it back to me like a good little daughter of a slightly psychotic, anxiety-ridden woman.