The Power of the Pause
SLOW DOWN. TAKE A BREAK. READ A BOOK!
Last year, I had a leaky faucet. Between commuting to work, working, commuting home, walking my dog, and performing at night, I just never got around to having it fixed. Even though ALL I had to do was submit a ticket online and the maintenance person would fix it while I was out. I lived with it for so long that I became accustomed to the dripping sound and it became a part of my home. Friends would come over and point it out and I’d be like, “What leaky faucet?”
Then, 2020 happened.
Commuting ceased, theaters were shut down, and walking my dog became a fun adventure out rather than a basic need. The leaky faucet stopped being background noise and became my full-on worst enemy. I swear the drips were taunting me and saying my name while I slept. After waiting way too long, I finally submitted a ticket and the leak was fixed within minutes.
It took the world literally shutting down and a forced shelter-in-place to finally take the time I needed to fix what wasn’t working. Fixing that small issue took almost no time out of my day, and made a world of difference in my life. (Dramatic, yes, but THE LEAK WAS TAUNTING ME IN MY SLEEP!)
It got me thinking… what else needs to be fixed?
[cue montage of me fixing every part of my life a la Cher in Clueless]
I’ve always been constantly on-the-go. Even as a child, I would wake up at the crack of dawn and jump right into playing Barbies. I’d play until I was bored, or until I heard a basketball start bouncing in my neighbor’s yard notifying me that my friends were awake. Downtime makes me anxious, so working fast and keeping busy helped me feel productive. Like, sometimes I just go to Target to feel alive.
Pausing helped me realize that I was actually not productive where it mattered. In fact, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was overworking myself to appease other people and never cared about how it was affecting me. I was mostly trying to reduce my own guilt and shame around imposter syndrome. (i.e. “If I don’t respond to emails within minutes, the sender is going to think I’m lazy and slacking off so I better get it done ASAP.”)
I took a breath, slowed down a little, and started to make some changes. I committed to physical activity every morning to set my brain up better for the day, I started cooking real lunches (instead of not eating, or quickly eating whatever was easiest) and focusing on better foods to have more energy. I set boundaries around my day, took breaks when I needed them, and shut down my computer every evening so I wouldn’t work during off-hours out of guilt. I created routines that reduced my stress, rather than covered it up.
I used to think slowing down was dangerous. Like if you pause on the highway to read an exit sign, that’s not going to end well. Maybe I thought if I dedicated too much time to my inner thoughts, then it’d be too scary and overwhelming. That makes me sound like I’m dangerous, but I’m thinking more along the lines of negative self-talk, not murdering small animals. Now, I realize that slowing down and pausing only creates more space and makes a much bigger impact.
A pause in a sentence means you get to take a breath.
A pause before a punch line makes a really great joke.
A pause in a presentation helps an impactful point land.
A pause in a discussion lets other voices in.
A pause after a heated conversation means cooling off, and perspective-shifting, and deeper understanding.
A pause in a good song usually means a dance break. Or an amazing Whitney Houston high note. (beat… “and IIIIIIIII”)
A pause in a year of my life helped me address years of anxiety that I was letting rule my life. (I’m picturing my anxiety as Rizzo, and my life as Rydell High.) I was able to identify what wasn’t working, make adjustments, and live more comfortably. I stopped plowing through life trying to avoid making anyone mad at me and started focusing on my own health and happiness. SURPRISE! My performance improved and my output was far greater. And, as far as I know, nobody got mad at me.
It really makes you think…
Nope, that’s it. I have no follow-up. I just wanted to show you the power of a pause one last time.