What Are Your Values?
Or, SEEKING CLARITY WITH PATTY BARRETT-Y. (That’s the title of my new podcast. Just kidding. Unless you think I should. Should I? No, I’m kidding. Let me know.)
After Monday’s post, I’m sure you know that I am now having what some might call a mental breakdown existential crisis. In fact, I spoke with a few people via Instagram and text since then about how tough it is to come to terms with death when you don’t believe in God. It’s hard to understand what “the reason” could possibly be in the statement “everything happens for a reason”. Show me the fucking reason! I’m basically Jennifer Love-Hewitt in I Know What You Did Last Summer screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?”
While I personally struggle with organized religion, I do believe in Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, as I’ve mentioned before. Life is nothing but a SERIES OF NOWS. Therefore, all that matters are the people we surround ourselves with, the communities and homes we build, and making decisions that keep us safe and happy.
I do not want to be on my deathbed (whenever, or wherever that may be) thinking, “But I never got my white Jeep or a house above Sunset!” (Clueless really did a number on me).
Luckily, part of what I do for work is guide people through the habits of high performers. I like that we focus on the idea of high performance over high achievement because it’s more holistic. While it’s still leadership-related, it’s mostly about taking care of yourself first. The best way to do that is by narrowing down your own personal values. Your own North Star, if you will.
In his book, High Performance Habits, Brendan Burchard talks about the habit of Seeking Clarity. He suggests getting hyper-focused on the person you want to be and the things that matter to you most and building your life around them. I personally don’t see it as a vision board for the future (although that is technically how it’s set up), but rather as a vision board for right now. I’m not ModPodging sexy bods and extravagant homes to a poster board, I’m defining my values and choosing to live according to what makes me feel full and happy.
If you’re interested, you can find the chart and more explanation here. Or copy and paste the one below.
I won’t share my whole chart, because it’s EMBARRASSING AF. But here are some of the TOP HITS:
I want to be kind, which doesn’t always mean nice. (There is a funny meme/discourse happening on the internet over which coast is more kind vs. nice.) (East Coast is definitely more kind than nice.)
I want to vent and complain less in my interactions (because negativity spreads like wildfire and leaves me feeling tired and gross)
I need to work on patience (ESPECIALLY WHILE DRIVING)
I’d like to reach out more often in small ways, send little gifts or texts or book recommendations and just connect more with the people I love
I want to assume positive intent more often and practice empathy (ALSO WHILE DRIVING)
I want to create a space for people around me so they know they won’t be judged or teased or made fun of (and I should also seek those spaces for myself)
I plan on BRINGING JOY as much as possible and keep on making things light and fun
I’m also going to WEAR WHAT I WANT (like an oversized, fluffy, purple coat and a BERET)
Here’s an empty chart if you want to give it a try:
3 WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY BEST SELF:
WAYS TO EMBODY THOSE WORDS:
3 WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW I WANT TO TREAT OTHERS:
PEOPLE I COULD IMPROVE MY INTERACTIONS WITH:
5 SKILLS I’M TRYING TO DEVELOP MOST IN LIFE:
HOW I CAN PRACTICE THOSE SKILLS:
3 SIMPLE WAYS I CAN ADD VALUE TO THOSE AROUND ME:
THE MAIN FEELINGS I WANT TO CULTIVATE IN MY LIFE, RELATIONSHIPS, AND WORK THIS WEEK…
SOMETHING I CAN DO OR CREATE THAT WOULD BRING ME MORE MEANING: