35 Lessons in 35 Years
Well, shit. Tomorrow I turn 35! I can’t believe it. It feels like just five years ago I was turning 30! (And having a mental breakdown in Los Angeles about moving to New York.) (Which didn't end up happening.) (But six months later, I decided to move back to Boston.)
I honestly love being in my thirties, so I’m not afraid of this age. I feel better than ever, I look better than ever, and I like my life. So that’s good news!
I love reflection, both the activity and the song by Christina Aguilera. So today I’d like to share 35 lessons that I’ve learned in my 35 years of life. Some profound, some not so profound.
The number one solution to literally everything is communication.
Before eating, drinking, or buying anything on a whim, give yourself five minutes to do something else. The urge will likely pass, or you will forget.
When re-reading the Harry Potter series, you can skip Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Harry is a whiny bitch and Sirius deserves better.
Alcohol is a downer, not an upper. (Sure, it might make you feel like you can fly for an hour or so, but then you come crashing down like a bird on my friend Kathy’s windshield while we were driving on the highway to Vermont.)
Backstreet Boys are better singers than *NSYNC.
You will always be bad at something the first time you do it, but you will get better through practice.
The stories you create and assumptions you make are not facts.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
You don’t need to get a bag of $1 gummy sour candy every time you go to the dollar store. You also don’t need to eat the whole thing in the car on the ten-minute drive home.
Live by your own values and don’t worry if you’re not living up to other people’s, or society’s, standards of the way a person should behave.
Vegetables are very good when they’re fresh and roasted instead of frozen and microwaved.
Less is more, except when it comes to Christmas decorations.
Pickle juice is a fantastic hangover cure.
I’ve got good news and bad news: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU!
Embrace a growth mindset and try scary things.
Wear sneakers! Fuck uncomfortable shoes.
Give yourself THREE full weeks to adapt to a change before making any major decisions or beating yourself up with regret.
Sleeping with a popular, good-looking guy that you went to high school with to avenge your frumpy high school self doesn’t feel remotely as satisfying as you think.
Try your best not to talk about only work with your work friends.
Share your boundaries, and ask for what you want - don’t just do what you think you have to do because that’s what everyone else is doing. (I.e. stay really late at work because everyone else is.)
BRING THE JOY to everything you do, especially the tasks you hate. How can you turn an awful commute into something you look forward to? Maybe you need to infuse some murder podcasts into it!
Dress for the REAL weather, not the weather you wish it was. Even if it’s April and you don’t want to wear a puffy coat, WEAR A FUCKING PUFFY COAT.
You’re not ready, but you’ll never be ready, so you might as well do it and figure it out as you go.
Take accountability. The guilt/shame you feel is worse than any consequence for your actions.
Ruminating on all of your mistakes and being a victim of your past is bad for your mental health. Reflect on what you could have done better and next time, do better.
Your life is not supposed to happen any other way than it has happened/is happening.
Give people the benefit of the doubt and understand that it’s usually not personal. (But also, it doesn’t mean you need to keep toxic people in your life.)
Bring your BEST self to work. (Think about when you go on vacation and you pack all of your best things… pack your best traits for work!) Still be you, but the best you.
Live in the place where the majority of your needs/priorities are being met.
“If you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.” - Conan O’Brien
Even if the egg is hard-boiled and fried, it’s still going to taste disgusting. In fact, it’s going to be even more disgusting than a regular fucking egg. Eggs are gross and just deal with it.
The key to “getting into the habit” of something is consistency and routine. Try stacking the new habit on top of an old one. If you want to get into the habit of taking your vitamins, then take your vitamin every time you step out of the shower. Do it over and over again and suddenly, it’ll become a habit.
Accept the things you cannot change, or change them.
Nothing is permanent. Nails can come out of walls, you can move back home, you can repaint, you can get a new job, you will find someone else, etc. Don’t force bad situations to fit because you put in effort/work/time. (It’s called the IKEA BIAS.) And don’t freak out about whether it’s the right decision or not. Nothing is PERMANENT.
If you can live near a peanut butter factory, live near a peanut butter factory. It smells fucking delicious during the day.