8 Bad Ideas For Self-Soothing
How are you?
Is anyone else struggling lately? I feel like we all thought this summer was going to be “lit” and somehow it’s been more like one of those fires you try to light repeatedly but the wood is too damp, so it lights up for a second, and then fizzles out immediately. Then somehow, it lights up when you’ve all stopped trying and have gone inside to go to sleep and then it burns your whole house down, and starts a forest fire. Then Smokey the Bear personally shows up to shake his head at you, and then he fines you, and you’re left houseless, poor, and feeling shamed by Smokey the Bear.
That kind of lit summer.
I truly can’t believe how bad the news has been lately. The delta variant is raging through the U.S. and affecting the vaccinated and unvaccinated. People are fighting over forced vaccines and mask mandates. The Taliban has taken control of Afghanistan. Haiti had another devastating earthquake. The climate disaster is OUT OF CONTROL.
At least Britney’s dad has stepped down, but come on! What is going on in the world?
Personally, I’ve got some weird job news. I still have one, but don’t know what the future will look like for my role. My social media is full of tributes for a young member of the Boston comedy community who died fighting cancer. My heart is heavy for her. There’s an overwhelming feeling of sadness, frustration, and fear of the unknown.
So, what do we do? What can we do? I don’t know.
But here are some bad ideas:
Drink an entire bottle of wine and watch Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso is a good idea, but the bottle of wine probably isn’t. Especially when you don’t want to stop there, but you have nothing else but triple sec and two bottles of dry vermouth.
Flirt with bad men (or anyone, really) for attention. Find a really bad one, like the real asshole kind. Attention feels better from them because they’re typically such dicks!
Online shop with the money you don’t have. I bought this $150 Reformation dress because it was on sale. Shhh, it makes so much sense.
Forget to return all the other stuff you bought online that you needed to return within 30 days. I blame the mall for being far away and never open when I want it to be (like 8am would be perfect mall time.)
Make chicken parm for breakfast. Who makes the rules about what you need to eat and when? The world doesn’t make sense right now, so BREAKFAST doesn’t have to either. It’s literally just breaking fast. Actually, this is a fucking great idea.
Take a personality test and assume the personality types of all your friends. That explains why she was such a bitch to me.
Buy Bath and Body Works out of candles and light them all. Pass out from the headache you’ll get from all those mixed scents.
Go through your closet for clothes to donate. Then decide to keep them all because they all spark joy. And joy is what we need right now.