The Joys of ADHD
Fun fact: I casually abused my sister’s adderall when she was diagnosed with ADHD roughly 10 years ago. It was awesome. I would take it for long work days when my Saturday schedule started at 10am and finished on Sunday morning at 1:00 am. It would make me feel “in the game” and I didn’t even have ADHD.
OR SO I THOUGHT!
A few years later, when I was living in California, I got diagnosed with it. As the psychologist walked me through the diagnosis, I was like, “Ohhhhhhhh, right, yup… that makes sense.” The weird thing though, unlike depression and anxiety, it doesn’t really bother me.
Sure, it’s unfortunate that I have to keep a notebook next to my yoga mat when I take a class so I can write down all the ideas that go through my head (yesterday I wrote “Zara sweaters” and “where is the hot guy from Coyote Ugly?”). It’s not great that I lose my train of thought mid-conversation, and procrastinate until the very last minute and then freak the fuck out. However, mostly I like living with ADHD!
All of the attributes and side effects of ADHD were the characteristics that I liked the most about myself. I don’t think that my personality would be the same if I weren’t mentally ill! I could do without the sad sack days that come with depression, and the spiraling that comes with anxiety, but ADHD I can live with. Here’s why:
HYPERFOCUS
This is the one that really made me connect the most with my diagnosis. For my entire life, I have been going on “deep dives”. I have episodes of PURE OBSESSION. I know many teenage girls were in love with the Backstreet Boys, but listening to their albums and watching their concerts and appearances on TRL and talk shows that I recorded on VHS weren’t enough. This is before YouTube! I sought out FAN FICTION on the internet, and would even write it myself!!!!
Earlier this year, I was obsessed with Jane Austen. I read every book, watched every adaptation, read every book even remotely related to or about Jane Austen, watched documentaries, and I’m currently planning a Jane Austen-inspired trip to England.
I’m nuts, but deep dives are so fun. (And yes, this weekend I spent the entire time in a Gabby Petito wormhole. Poor girl.)
SPONTANEITY.
I almost never make plans or strategize! It makes my life very fun and not stressful at all. Just kidding, my bank account does not enjoy my spontaneity as much as my brain does. Take for instance last Thursday when I got some bad news and was feeling sad so I booked an eyebrow lamination appointment for the following day and spent $100 on a treatment that did literally nothing. Obviously, not being able to control my impulses can be a really tough thing… but some days I have self-control over the things that matter (like chicken fingers.)
However, this is a good thing when I decide to go on a mid-day hike, or say “YES” when someone asks me to do something at the last minute, or invite people to come over and turn my boring evening into a fun one. Most of my favorite memories weren’t planned occasions, but rather something I just did because I felt like it at that time.
RESILIENCE.
The MOST FUN part of struggling with a mental handicap are the constant obstacles I put in my own way, and the adversity I need to overcome due to my own brain. I’m constantly struggling and overcoming something. Basically, it means that when I actually come up against the hard things in life, I can overcome them pretty quickly. I work hard on myself, and have so many tools for calming myself down and moving forward.
ENERGY / CREATIVITY.
Obviously, I lean towards creative fields and projects. But creativity gives me ENERGY. Solving a problem, and being resourceful, makes me super motivated and engaged in the moment and then I get that sweet dopamine release and do weird things like entire dance routines to make people laugh or just keep making jokes and putting on a show.
When I was a child, I had endless energy. I would wake up early in the morning, way before everyone else, and just get to work playing with my Barbies. I would go outside and dance in the backyard. I would constantly be doing something. I’m still the same way! I wake up at 6am every single day and I just… do things.
A lot of children struggle with ADHD, and it’s probably hardest in those school years when you’re expected to behave and act “normally” and you don’t know why, but you just can’t do that. You can't do your homework in a timely manner, you can’t sit still in class, and you can’t not burst out in song!!! However, I think these are eventually the characteristics that make our personalities shine.
And make our co-workers love us because we’re fun to be around, but hate us because we’re distracting.
So, basically, embrace your ADHD-ridden self, or friend, or child, or sibling, or parent. We’re virtually SUPER HUMANS! And are also likely RIDDLED WITH ANXIETY (the two are closely connected) so if you don’t support us, we’ll likely spiral out of control and show up at your door and clean your whole house while singing songs from Cinderella with Brandy and Whitney Houston.