Please don’t make me go bowling. Unless there is alcohol and I don’t have to play.

I’m cheugy, I’m basic, I’m too much, and I’m a curvy old soul. AND PROUD!

Hint: It’s not L.A. for me… because I want all them seasons.

Wear a mask, pack a snack, and please learn how to control your gas.

You will notice there is nothing on this list like, “knocked over their cart at the grocery store, pantsed them, and then robbed them at gunpoint” but seemingly unordinary things that do not matter in the grand scheme of life.

I’m not sober, I’m not even sure I want to be, but I’m struggling to find a healthy relationship with an abusive substance that causes me nothing but mental health problems. Which, truthfully, pretty much sums up all of my relationships!

I only cheated once!

I sometimes wonder if I’m not merely an old soul, but actually the ghost of a young Victorian girl.

It was my mom.

Stuck with nothing to do and nowhere to go, I turned to God. Just kidding. I decided to meditate.

If there’s no pre-existing curtain rod, I just won’t be hangin’ ‘em.

These are 35 lessons from my 35 years of life. Some profound, some not so profound.

I realized recently that all of my “wonderful little idiosyncrasies” are a complete laundry list of depression, anxiety, and ADHD.

Other than trapping a man with a baby out of spite, I haven’t felt a calling to become a mom.

May is Mental Health Awareness month and I am a living, breathing, somehow functioning product of mental illness.

I’ve learned that happiness does not mean sunny skies and perfect weather. Happiness is more like New England. You’re going to get some 75-degree Christmas mornings and snow on your birthday in May.

If you’ve ever read gift guides for Mother’s Day and thought, “Uh, my mom would hate all of those things.”